- You have either never met me or never met my children. If I were the world's best mom, I believe that I would never be in pajamas past 8 am, my son wouldn't eat poptarts for breakfast, my 4 month old daughter would always be dressed in homemade dresses with matching bows and shoes (also homemade), and my house would be sparkling clean. If you have met me, you would know I am definitely not succeeding at any of those things.
- You are dying to be a better mother and secretly, you still hope that somewhere there's a manual. There isn't. Or if there is, I don't have it. Sorry.
What is it about us as women that we can't just sit back and relax and enjoy that fact that we ARE mothers? Why can't I see the toys on the floor and instead of feeling guilty about the house being a mess realize that my children have played hard today and learned a lot while doing it? Why can't I allow my son to just be little and not fret over the fact that he watched 2 movies today and wore a pull-up instead of underwear? Why can't I play tag with E outside without feeling that we should be indoors learning the alphabet instead?
As mothers, we have a serious over-achiever complex. Trust me, I know. I work. I go to school. I raise two children. I take care of my home. I spend time with my husband. Boy, I sure sound like an over-achiever, but let me assure you, I'm not. People are always saying to me, "How do you do all those things?" And I am constantly replying, "I don't". I don't! Here's how it goes:
If I'm getting good grades: The house is in shambles, the laundry piles resemble the Alps, I stay in pajamas all day, my family eats leftovers or fast food, my husband complains that he hasn't seen me all week, and my children play with each other or by themselves.
If I have a clean house (I never have a clean house for longer than an hour, BUT when I spend the day cleaning): E watches 3 movies and A plays alone or naps, I get irritated with the hubs for not cleaning up after himself and making a mess as soon as he walks in, my homework doesn't get done, and there are still mountain sized piles of laundry, because truthfully that never ends.
If I am a good mom/wife: House is a mess, homework isn't done, definitely not working.....
If I work: Homework undone, family unfed, house in shambles...you get the picture.
It is IMPOSSIBLE to be all those things in one day. I have never once been a good mom, a good employee, a good student, and a good wife in one day. NEVER. I can only be good at one thing each day. That's a hard choice to make, because I sure want to choose to be a good mom/wife everyday, but the house needs cleaned, the GPA needs maintaining, and money needs to be made.
Sometimes after a really long day, I sit on the couch and all I can think is "Boy, I think I need a vacation from being a mom." Because, ya'll-- It's a damn hard job! Even if I earned salary, benefits, sick days, etc. it'd still be the hardest thing I've ever done. But even without all those things, it's still the most rewarding job I've ever done. I work for toothless grins and little arms wrapped around my neck. I work hard for laughs and full bellies. I work HARDEST for "Thank you for Mommy" during prayers and how peaceful A looks when she's tucked into bed.
What I hope for most in life is that when my children are grown they don't say things like "Man, I wish my mom had made me smiley face pancakes everyday, read books and played games with me constantly, and always looked beautiful doing it." What I hope they say is, "My mom tried everyday to show me she loved me whether it was by getting an education, working, or playing. She loved my dad. And we were happy." That's all we can do really, right?
I don't have the secret to being the best mom ever. But I hope that my children can see how hard I try everyday to be good at SOMETHING. They probably won't realize it until they are much older, maybe with kids of their own. But most importantly, I'm pretty sure if you asked E who the best mom in the world is-- he'd say me. And maybe cause I'm the only one he's got, or maybe because truly deep down in his 3 year old heart he knows how hard I'm trying to be perfect for him. And I think any mom who really tries to be the best and wants so much to be perfect for her kids is already an excellent mom by default.
P.S. My mom really IS the best mom ever. Maybe she's got the manual?
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